Energy Vampires: How to Avoid Them (And How to NOT Be One)


Last Updated on February 7, 2023

We’ll be talking about energy vampires or psychic vampires — those spirit crushers — in this article.

Don’t know the first thing about energy vampires?

Then the discussions here will prove useful to you. Here, we’ll define what they are, how to avoid them, and how to not be one. 

What is an energy vampire?

Energy vampires or psychic vampires are people who drain your vital energy. They can be anyone, and they can be anywhere. They can be your best friend, next-door neighbor, or family member.

Some energy vampires tend to go about doing so unintentionally or subconsciously. The rest, on the other hand, suck your life force and deprive you of your own energy as if it’s the right thing to do and as if their own life depended on it.

Either way, they’re the kind of people who feed off your willingness to be there for them. Because you make them feel loved, cared for — and basically, attended —, they feel it’s righteous to wrap themselves around you.

What makes their behavior problematic is, they don’t have any clue as to what they’re actually doing one up you. They’re trapped in the mindset that they are in your life because they’re doing good. They don’t realize that their presence in your life puts you in harm’s way and prevents you from welcoming positive energy.

Why are energy vampires called psychic vampires?

Energy vampires are also sometimes called psychic vampires because what they’re doing to their victims is called psychological or psychic vampirism. Psychological or psychic vampirism is a phenomenon involving a vampire feeding off of the vitality, well-being, and mental health of others. 

Many assume the reason they’re called psychic vampires is because of their psychic abilities. And for this, they’re feared even more. The truth? They’re incapable of a worrisome psychic attack or rendering any catastrophic psychological damages. So there’s no reason to fear them this way, or fear them as if they’re bloodsuckers.

They’re only associated with traditional vampires (or those pale creatures who can detect someone with enough life force and vital energy to drain) because of the word “vampire” and because they also suck forces from others. But beyond that? Nothing in common — no superhuman abilities to be afraid of.

Characteristics of energy vampires

A tell-tale characteristic of energy or psychic vampires is they’re annoying. According to their victims, it’s as if being annoying is all they ever know. For them, the world revolves around them. They feel entitled to do anything — and it doesn’t matter if they crush other people’s spirits in the process.

Below are more detailed discussions about the behavior of a psychic vampire:

They capitalize on deception

They capitalize on deception

Energy vampires or psychic vampires feel energized around emotionally weak individuals — and prey on them. These victims may have problems revolving around their family members and friends, co-workers, health, and basic finances. As such, they’re in a vulnerable position where the energy vampire can effortlessly enter their lives.

Without the victims realizing it, the vampires are playing a game of deception. They’ll twist the truth and make up believable realities. And if these victims can’t be strong enough eventually, they’ll be in that position permanently. 

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They’re bullies

They’re bullies

An energy vampire is someone with the inherent nature of psychic vampires to show aggressiveness and strong-arm others. They’ll belittle victims, and make other people feel they have low self-esteem and are powerless around them. Their presence is so intimidating that it emotionally paralyzes their victims.

Bullying happens in different ways — and energy vampires know that. They’ll put others in harm’s way through actions and hurtful words. They act as if they can always get what they want. If they can’t, they’ll find something to hold against their victims so their victims will have no choice but to give in to them.

They’re irresponsible

They’re irresponsible

An energy vampire feels it’s okay if they don’t accept responsibility for their actions. They don’t meet deadlines and other extended events, follow rules, pay bills, and more. The worst part is, they don’t feel guilty and yet feel entitled to behave that way.

They might even encourage others — and you — to behave the same way. If they can’t encourage you to behave irresponsibly, they’ll hold you accountable for it. They’ll persist you’re the type of person who sucks the joy out of living. That, and you don’t know how to have a good time. 

They gaslight you

They gaslight you

Distorting a person’s own reality is a dangerous thing,” says The Gaslight Effect author Robin Stern, Ph.D. And energy vampires thrive on doing this to other people — to basically everyone if the situation calls for it. They intentionally make others question their own reality to the intensity that the victim is rendered their mental and emotional energy paralyzed.

It’s unfortunate to realize you’re the victim of gaslighting. It’s even more unfortunate if you don’t realize it until it’s too late to do something about it.

These gaslighting incidents can get intense because chances are, you didn’t think that small and seemingly insignificant hints could matter. But they do because these small hints could snowball and become immensely powerful. 

They have a martyr complex

An energy vampire or psychic vampire love to save the day — even if they’re actually ruining it. As people who draw energy from the vulnerability of others, they’ll do everything they can to be labeled a martyr. If the means to martyrdom is to downplay the role of others, they won’t hesitate to make it.

This characteristic is like their need to deceive people, but worse. It’s worse because they tend to be laser-focused on achieving a personal gain. While they don’t mean to deceive, they’ll do it if that’s what it takes to benefit themselves.

What is the “right” way to respond to an energy vampire?

There’s no “right” way in dealing with an energy vampire or psychic vampire. And there is no “one size fits all” approach to dealing with these vampires because energy vampires come with different personalities. It’s also up to the victim and how they plan on dealing with the situation.

Here are more discussions about how to respond to an energy vampire:

  • In most cases, people who know they’re in the presence of these energy or psychic vampires simply walk away. They turn their backs, cancel gatherings, and avoid chances of encounters — basically, ridding themselves of these toxic vampires. 
  • Some people think ignoring the energy vampires is the right response because they believe they can’t do anything else — they can’t act civil —without making the energy vampire angry. And for them, the energy vampires are beyond saving.
  • Then there are victims who see energy vampires as salvageable. So what they do is offer to help vampires reframe their minds. What they propose is a long-term solution. And sometimes, it works, too.
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Are you an energy or a psychic vampire? Do you unintentionally suck the life force out of someone?

If you are an energy or psychic vampire, you need to stop your ways immediately. Even without you realizing it, the people in your life are becoming recipients of negative energy. And if this negative energy stays with them for a long time, it becomes a problem too difficult to rectify.

Below are signs that will tell you you’re a vampire.

You often dominate discussions

You often dominate discussions

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to talk to people and discussing thoughts. In fact, it’s a great way of communicating your ideas, expressing emotions, and more. It’s also therapeutic and can provide relief from stress. But if you overdo it, it’s a sign you’re an energy or psychic vampire.

What you can do to solve the problem:

  • Listen – Lend a listening ear, remember, discussions are supposed to be a venue for (at least) two people to express themselves. If you don’t listen and if your intention of taking part in a discussion is to air your story, you have to change.
  • Set time limits – Take 3 minutes, for example, and remind yourself to stop talking after that. If you need to talk and you have a big idea to share, go ahead and talk about it for a set time.
  • Encourage others to speak up – It’s supposed to be a medium where both sides of the party can benefit.

You focus on yourself — a lot

You focus on yourself — a lot

To focus on yourself is to love yourself. It means you’re showering yourself with care and compassion so that you are able to grow freely. This could backfire on you, though, if you do it too much. If that’s the case, you’re breeding the opposite of love: Selfishness and hatred.

What you can do to solve the problem:

  • Mind your mental well-being – Focusing on yourself a lot is also a sign of psychological illnesses including narcissism. It’s unhealthy, especially if you’re in the presence of people you need to empathize with. 
  • Care for others – Sure, it’s encouraged to care about yourself. But if it’s at the expense of showing apathy to others, it’s discouraged.
  • Get busy and productive – Distract yourself and focus on other things. Applying for a new job or learning a new hobby are great options.

You’re often cynical with friends

You're often cynical with friends

As an energy vampirism, this should come as no surprise to you. Even if you’re the type of person who capitalizes on deception and wants people’s trust, you deeply distrust people.

You have profound trust issues that it’s almost impossible for you to believe in anyone or anything. Regardless of whether your friends are telling you something for your own betterment, you brush them off.

What you can do to solve the problem:

  • Stop disguising your cynicism – Jokes, fun actions, or lies are common disguises and are often used as self-defense mechanisms. Accept the reality of your situation because it’s one of the best ways to move on and feel genuine happiness.
  • Show up – Because you don’t want them to notice your negativity towards life, you try your best to be absent in reality.  As a result, you have low-quality relationships — if you have any relationships.
  • Be realistic with bits of positive energyStay true to yourself. And little by little, drown out the negativity. 

You feel tension when you’re with friends

You feel tension when you're with friends

The simple explanation as to why you feel tension when you’re with friends? They dislike your behavior. Consider yourself lucky if this were the case. This means your friends care about you and would want you to improve. Instead of calling you out on your behavior, they’re giving you an opportunity to redeem yourself.

What you can do to solve the problem:

  • Spend time – Hang out with your friends, celebrate any good news, and loosen up. You can invite them to your place to have meals, drinks, or watch TV.
  • Ask – Gently walk up to them and ask them what’s wrong. Especially if your friends are straightforward people, they’ll appreciate this.
  • Listen to advice – If there’s tension, chances are, they have something on their minds. Let them know it’s okay to tell you.
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Others distance themselves from you

Not everyone will like you. But because of the negative energy you bring and continue to attract as an energy vampire, other people tend to dislike you. And you can’t blame them for thinking this way. They don’t want to be around you for your unlikable behavior — it may be nothing personal.

What you can do  to solve the problem:

  • Be mindful – Find out the reason people don’t want to be around you, then recognize and try to correct it. For all you know, the problem may be easily solvable.
  • Respect any set boundaries – If someone asks you to keep quiet, for example, do it. People may find you unpleasant to be with because you can’t respect them or follow instructions. 
  • Avoid taking things personally – Most of the time, it’s your actions that cause people to distance themselves from you. It’s not you as a person.

The road to recovery: Avoiding psychological vampirism or being a psychic vampire

The road to recovery: Avoiding psychological vampirism or being a psychic vampire

Having self-awareness if you have an energy vampire or psychic vampire is important. The tricky part about being energy or psychic vampires is, it’s difficult to know you have a problem. Your loved ones won’t probably call you out on your problematic behavior because they tend to be people who’ll stand by you no matter what. Strangers won’t call you out for the obvious reason that your behavior is none of their business.

So to avoid psychological or psychic vampirism if you’re the vampire in other people’s lives, you need to commit to helping yourself. Invest the time to be (more) aware of your presence. If you can sense that you’re unwanted, you can start to understand the reasons behind it and then go from there. And sometimes, the best and simplest thing to do is to distance yourself from those who don’t want you around for a while.

Final thoughts

If there are energy vampires in your life, it’s practical to avoid them. Setting boundaries is all about protecting yourself from psychic vampirism. You need to know what does spiritual energy feels like and the volcano’s spiritual meaning to protect your energy, life force, and spiritual side so you can be the best version of yourself.

Meanwhile, if you’re an energy vampire, you need to do something about your behavior. If changing for others is too much for you, the best thing you can do is to stay away. It’s also all about protecting others from yourself. By staying away from them, you’re allowing them to tap into the best version of themselves.

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